Some funny/interesting pest control stories

So I wanted to try and write some funny things that have happened so far during my year on the job doing pest control.
As a pest control technician, I see a lot of different, odd, strange, and funny things, as well as the basic "there's a bee on my porch" type things.  Some of these odd, strange, funny things, people like to hear about, so I want to try and put them here, hopefully to entertain you, and so I don't forget in the future :).

The first thing I get to experience is going places I've never been.  Last year I was traveling a road in the boonies where this gentleman has a LOT of land.  A HUGE field.
 The funny thing about this is last year he had a huge moose cutout was at the base of the field.  This year though, he got rid of the moose and put in what you see up there.  I HAD to pull over because I was laughing so much.  This is the neighborhood, where just down the road, another land owner has a scarecrow in his field with Hillary Clinton's face on it.  Sorry, no picture on that.

Another story:

I was maintaining a grocery store, and we have boxes that hold rodent bait around the outside of the store.  Hey, they throw a lot of food away and it attracts rats and mice OUTSIDE the store.  Well, just last week I was going around the store and making sure the boxes were clean and full of bait, when I opened one and saw THIS:

Needless to say I jumped back a bit and pee'd my pants a little.  LOL.

I've got a bunch more experiences that I'd like to share, but right now I'm cooking lunch and need to stop.  I'll leave you with one more pic.....where else but NEPA is a bidet used for a flower planter?  Yes, this was in someone's home.  Hear the banjo music?




Find something to be grateful for, and enjoy your spring.  Chat more soon.

Way too long.................again.

Sweet Jesus it's been years since I've put anything up here.  Having two kids, a new career change, and life in general kinda makes it difficult to sit and write.

Simon is almost 6, Finny is almost 4.  Kindergarten, daycare, oh, and a new career (last year) is all taking a front seat to life.

About the new career......

I'm not in radio anymore.  After 20-some years in the biz, I realized that radio is going the way of the dodo bird, and there's no money to be made in it.  When I put my resignation in, my boss asked me why.  I responded with, "what's the difference between a large cheese pizza and a career in radio?"  "A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four".  Seriously....I did my budget and in the end, I was paying more to go to work than getting paid.  So I HAD to do something else.  But what?  I'm not qualified in anything else.  Well, God stepped in and showed me.  He put a man in my life about 12 years ago....my "bug man".  The guy who comes to my house and gives us pest control service.  He was at my house the one day and said, "Hey, our company is hiring, and you don't have any felonies, and a driver's license, and you're not an asshole, why don't you apply?"  So I figured, what the hell, stopped by the office one day (ratty clothes, hadn't shaved in about 3 months) and asked for an application.  I filled it out right there, and got an interview about 2 weeks later.  I shaved, cleaned up my appearance, and figured, "If God wants me to have this gig, it'll happen".  I went to the interview and I presume kicked ass.  They called me for a 2nd interview, background check and piss test, then a ride along, and then they offered me the job.  What does that entail?  WOW.  SCHOOL. LOTS AND LOTS OF SCHOOL.  I spend the first 2 months, 40 hours a week learning.  In a classroom, on the road, in my OM's office.  Wow.  Overwhelming.  But I got through it.  Then more testing.  And more testing.  And more testing.  And OM ride-alongs.  And more testing.  And I'm proud to say that I have more certifications in one year then I ever realized I could do.  I also just got a text message from my boss this morning with my "official" PA State License with MY NAME on it!  I passed those examinations with the Commonwealth of PA.   How awesome.  God led me, gave me the strength (and brains) and I'm almost completely certified.  I have one more to go (wood destroying insects).  I am an official PMP (Pest Management Professional).  And I'm grateful.  Funny thing is, in one year, I'm making almost double what I was making in radio, and there are bonuses, raises, incentives and more.  The sky is the limit.  And pest control will NOT be taken over by the internet.  Oh sure, people can look up online what they need to do, but will the actually DO it?  Will THEY climb under their house?  Will they spend the big bucks to buy the chemicals and other stuff they need?  Nope.  That's why I have job security.

I would like to maintain this blog with all the cool and funny stories of customers and people I've come in contact with.  Just so I don't forget.  :)  Like the lady who was petrified of going down to her basement because of the "HUGE BUG BY MY COMPUTER", when in all actuality, it was a piece of a ripped garbage bag.  Not a bug.

I've got to wrap this up now, and once my studying is all finished, hopefully I'll have more time to write some of the stories.  Until then (hopefully not another couple years)......be grateful....you're alive!

My diva Finny.  :)

WHY?

I am that guy.

I'm the guy that always asks "why?"  Sometimes I'm given the answer, but most of the time I'm left still asking why. 
I've been in that spot for awhile now.  The spot without the answer that is.  And I believe I KNOW the answer......but the answer isn't FACT.  The answer is everyone's opinion!  The answer is everyone's BELIEF.  NOT FACT.  Including me.  At least, I haven't found out facts.......yet. 

The "why" I'm asking about, is human behavior.  Specifically, why can't we all just live in an altruistic movement?  Why can't we just value other people, who are JUST LIKE US, the same way we value ourselves?  Why are we so damn selfish?  I firmly believe (see? Opinion) that we are all the same.  No one, and I mean NO ONE, is better than me!  In the same breath, NO ONE is less than me either.  Sure, I may be better at disc golf than Scott down the road, but does that make me a better person than him?  Yet, Scott makes a shit-ton more money than me.  Does that make him better than me?  NO.  Not in my opinion.  We all have strengths and weaknesses, but do those strengths and weaknesses make us better than or less than others?  Why can't we look at the strengths as teaching tools for others?  And why can't we look at the weaknesses as learning tools from others? 

Why do some (the majority from my experience) people value money more than human life?  Human emotion?  Human BEINGS?  I've encountered more people that want money so badly, they don't care who they hurt, who they put out, who they manipulate, as long as they get their money.  These are the same people, I've noticed, that if you don't have something they want, you don't exist.  Which leads me to my next why.

Why can't we say "hi", or "good morning", or "how's it going", or even just wave at people we don't know?  A simple smile, and a "hello" as you walk past.  Why can't we hold the door for someone, and not expect a "thank you"?  And, for that matter, why the hell can't we say "thank you" when someone holds the door? 

This all started for me when I was walking through the parking lot of a Sheetz a few weeks back.  It was a BEAUTIFUL Sunday morning, around 6am, and I was soaking in the 'everything' of that morning.  As I walked toward the door, I passed 3 people.  I said "hi", to one.  His response?  -grunt- Next person, "good morning!".  Response...NOTHING.  Third person...(hesitantly), "mornin!"  His response, "yep".  And they all kept walking.  No eye contact.  Nothing.  So I decided to do a test in life for awhile.  I decided to NOT acknowledge people I didn't know to see what is what.  I DID make it a point to make eye contact though.  Here's what I learned.  No one wants to be bothered.  No one said anything.  No hello.  No hi.  Not even a smile.  Just kept on life like no one else existed but them.  Until........I started riding my motorcycle more to work on the back roads.  Everyone.....and I mean EVERYONE I would pass by while riding would make it a point to stop what they were doing outside, and wave.  They don't know me.  I don't know them.  They would wave.  And usually smile while waving.  I can't begin to tell you how a simple wave made me feel.  Especially if I had a shit day at work, and just wanted to go to bed and forget about the day.  That wave allowed me to forget about 15 minutes earlier.  That wave allowed me to get out of my head for a moment.  That wave was NICE!  And FRIENDLY! 

I've had this discussion with others, and the only thing in common with all of them, is they usually say something along the lines of, "well Tom, you don't know what's going on in their lives.  They may be living something terrible and aren't in the mood to be friendly."  I agree.  Which leads me to my next experience. 
One morning, I found out a good friend of mine was murdered.  Brutally.  I'm not even going to BEGIN to tell you how that made me feel.  Let's just say, not good.  I went to a very bad place internally.  I left work early, and on my way home, I stopped off at that same Sheetz for a cup of coffee.  Extremely sad, extremely depressed, and not wanting to have contact with ANYONE, I walked up to the counter with my coffee and money.  As I got to the counter, I looked at the older gentlemen working, smiled at him (forced, mind you) and said, "good morning".  He looked at me, paused a moment, said good morning back, told me how much the coffee was and I paid him.  As he was giving me the change, I looked at him and said, "I hope you have a GREAT day!".  He smiled at me and said, "you too........no matter what!"  I stopped in my tracks.  Looked back at him, and a wave of comfort covered me.  Smiling (sincerely), I repeated that back to him...."No Matter What".  Now, the next person in line didn't say good morning, or hello, or anything to him.  He didn't say anything to them except for how much they owed him.  So I KNOW he didn't say that to everyone.  Would he have said it to me if I didn't give the nice greeting?  I firmly believe he wouldn't have.  So DOES it matter what you're going through?  Yes.  And if you ARE in a bad spot in life, and aren't in the mood to be friendly, then, I believe, THAT'S when you SHOULD be!  You NEVER know how another human being (who's JUST LIKE YOU) can affect your life. 

A simple wave.
A simple hello.
A simple smile.

You NEVER know how it can affect their life.  And if you're still selfish, your life. 

I'm going to make a conscious effort from this day forth to wave, or say hello, or even just smile at people.  No matter the mood I'm in.  I'm going to work very hard on having no expectations of a response either!  Because I'll never know. 

I hope you have a GREAT day..........

NO MATTER WHAT!