Born To Be Mild!

Ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to ride a motorcycle. When I was younger and visiting a friend in Lansford, PA, we would cruise through the woods on a three-wheeler and his quad (atv). I loved it.

As I got older, I wanted to ride a motorcycle (which I will refer to from here on out as a 'bike'). But all the people in my life told me I'd kill myself. "Bikes are soooo dangerous, that one little pebble in the road will end up killing you." My Mom especially "FORBID" me to ride/learn to ride. If she found out I was cruising around on an ATV at Ryan's house, SHE would have killed me, never mind a motorcycle......or that pebble.
Let's now jump many years into the future. Last Fall. October 2008. My wife and I went to a wedding in Connecticut, and on the way home, we decided to take the 'back roads' instead of the highways. It was the most beautiful ride I think I have ever taken. And I saw thousands of bikers out that day. Which reminded me of me always wanting to ride. So I decided. Right then and there I was going to learn. And by this Spring, I'll be riding my own bike. Please, allow me to share what I have learned so far.


First I thought about it. My wife doesn't have a problem with this. Both my parents are gone. My Father-In-Law rides, my wife's Uncle and 2 Cousins ride, and I've got a bunch of acquaintances who ride. So I talked with a bunch of people, and they all told me the same thing....."TAKE THE SAFETY COURSE". I plan on it. Registration doesn't open until 2/24 at 6:30PM. Yes, I've been watching the website. But I digress.

I did my research. Boy did I research. I read about all different bikes, all different styles, everything! I came to the conclusion I wanted a cruiser....but not a Harley because, well, they cost too much. I also read certain forums online and got experienced opinions. The common suggestion between four billion bikers is to, "start off small, and you can always upgrade." You see, being the beginner that I am, anything bigger than 250CC's, I'll kill myself. There will be so much power, I won't be able to handle it, and it'll take me for a one-wheel ride down the driveway where I'll crash into 17 cars and kill myself. Anyway, more research later and I decided a Honda Rebel 250 was the perfect starter bike for me, and that I could always upgrade. Plus, they really aren't that expensive, and I think they look great! And the gas mileage? 70 MPG? WOW!!!! Plus they're Honda......it'll last forever as long as I take care of it.

I get the Motorcycle License book from the DMV, study it and pass. Whooo Hooo! I've got my Motorcycle Permit. Yay! Now it's time to start looking for a bike. Time to find that Honda Rebel. I want a pre-owned one, so when I do hit that pebble and kill myself, it wouldn't have cost me too much cabbage. For the record, this was in November. Great time to start riding right!?

My goal was to be able to put the bike in my barn between Christmas and New Year's Day, so I can learn as much as I can BEFORE I take the safety course. Not riding mind you, but learning, doing research and what-not. Anyway, the picture of the bike up there.....that's MY bike. In MY barn. Which I got on 12/26/09. .1 miles on her, 2008, and NOT from a dealer. I saved over $1000.



I have done so much research, it's pathetic. You need ALL FOUR LIMBS of your body to drive a bike. No big deal. There are TWO brakes. NOT ONE like a car. TWO. The front brake on the handlebars, which by the way, is 80% of your stopping power, and the back brake which is under your right foot. If you forget to apply BOTH brakes at the SAME time, you're in trouble. Too much front brake, the bike will stop directly under you and you'll fly over the handlebars, landing in the middle of the highway during rush hour and kill yourself. Too much back brake, the bike will go into a skid, in turn you losing control, hitting a moving truck and killing yourself.
Shifting. Nope.....NOT automatic. There IS a clutch. And THAT my friends is under your left hand. Plus to shift gears, the lever is under your left foot. Sooooooo, left side of the body is to shift, right side of the body is to brake. Oh, and right side of the body is to accelerate too. The throttle is under your right hand grip. No, it IS the right hand grip. So be careful if you want to apply the front brake that you don't accidentally accelerate, because you'll fly out of control too fast, the motor will explode under you, careening you into a tree, killing yourself.

Believe it or not, there are high beams and low beams on a bike. That's not really for you to see better, it's for other's to see you better. "What about a horn?" I'm so glad you asked. It goes, "meep meep". A Volkswagen Bug's horn has more, "Get the heck out of the way" power. Me yelling, "Get the heck out of the way" with a full face helmet on is louder than the horn. So I guess I'm going to have to be watching in all directions when I'm riding because my headlight (yep, just one) and my horn really won't keep me too safe......killing myself.

I also read about the blinkers, turn signals, whatever you want to call them. Most people don't use them anyway, or at least properly, so why worry right? Wrong. They don't shut off automatically. You read that right. Not only do I have to signal left or right....but once I make the turn, I have to manually shut them off. If not, I'll end up leaving them on (like my Grandmother used to) having people think I'm turning left, then when I don't, getting hit by an "over sized load" truck hauling a modular home, killing myself.

Anyway....I exaggerate. NO? ME?
I actually put 27 miles on my bike so far. 2 days of nice weather since New Year's Day and today, and I did ride. But just to practice. Nothing huge. I'm waiting to take the safety class next month. Then I plan on riding a LOT. Yes, I have my full-face helmet, my 2 pair riding gloves, my all-season riding jacket with armor, my padded riding pants and I just got new boots today (on sale mind you). Mine are Mahogany color though.


Wow, I'm either going to be styling, or looking like the kid from A Christmas Story. This will be good though, it'll take a heck of a lot for me to kill myself with all that gear.

So I'm very anxious to learn and to ride and gain experience. I promised everyone that cares about me that I'll take it slow, I won't ride above my limits, (I'm not crazy anyway, I just want to enjoy the ride, not the speed) and ATGATT (motorcycle term=ALL THE GEAR ALL THE TIME).

No worries though, my Father-In-Law used me as an excuse. He just bought himself a bike too. A Triumph. That's HUGE compared to my little put-put Rebel. Then there's my cousin who has a Ducati. AKA, Crotch Rocket. We're starting a gang. I don't know what the name will be. But I'm going to have to come up with a logo, get them screen printed on our cool biker jackets and go out rousing the neighborhood. Hahahaha. Get my Father-In-Law off the golf course first.

Warm weather...get here soon! I want to feel the wind in my 'lack-of' hair, the bugs in my teeth, and the sound of "meep meep" when another biker drives by. Nah, I'm not taking off my gear, nor taking my hands off the handlebars, because if I do, I'll turn just a bit off kilter, sliding out of control, falling off a bridge into the Susquehanna River, killing myself. Hopefully my friend Leo will be in his boat underneath to catch me. Then I can get some river-fishing in!

Getcha motor runnin'!! Head out on the highway!! Lookin' for adventure.....or whatever comes my way!