WHY?

I am that guy.

I'm the guy that always asks "why?"  Sometimes I'm given the answer, but most of the time I'm left still asking why. 
I've been in that spot for awhile now.  The spot without the answer that is.  And I believe I KNOW the answer......but the answer isn't FACT.  The answer is everyone's opinion!  The answer is everyone's BELIEF.  NOT FACT.  Including me.  At least, I haven't found out facts.......yet. 

The "why" I'm asking about, is human behavior.  Specifically, why can't we all just live in an altruistic movement?  Why can't we just value other people, who are JUST LIKE US, the same way we value ourselves?  Why are we so damn selfish?  I firmly believe (see? Opinion) that we are all the same.  No one, and I mean NO ONE, is better than me!  In the same breath, NO ONE is less than me either.  Sure, I may be better at disc golf than Scott down the road, but does that make me a better person than him?  Yet, Scott makes a shit-ton more money than me.  Does that make him better than me?  NO.  Not in my opinion.  We all have strengths and weaknesses, but do those strengths and weaknesses make us better than or less than others?  Why can't we look at the strengths as teaching tools for others?  And why can't we look at the weaknesses as learning tools from others? 

Why do some (the majority from my experience) people value money more than human life?  Human emotion?  Human BEINGS?  I've encountered more people that want money so badly, they don't care who they hurt, who they put out, who they manipulate, as long as they get their money.  These are the same people, I've noticed, that if you don't have something they want, you don't exist.  Which leads me to my next why.

Why can't we say "hi", or "good morning", or "how's it going", or even just wave at people we don't know?  A simple smile, and a "hello" as you walk past.  Why can't we hold the door for someone, and not expect a "thank you"?  And, for that matter, why the hell can't we say "thank you" when someone holds the door? 

This all started for me when I was walking through the parking lot of a Sheetz a few weeks back.  It was a BEAUTIFUL Sunday morning, around 6am, and I was soaking in the 'everything' of that morning.  As I walked toward the door, I passed 3 people.  I said "hi", to one.  His response?  -grunt- Next person, "good morning!".  Response...NOTHING.  Third person...(hesitantly), "mornin!"  His response, "yep".  And they all kept walking.  No eye contact.  Nothing.  So I decided to do a test in life for awhile.  I decided to NOT acknowledge people I didn't know to see what is what.  I DID make it a point to make eye contact though.  Here's what I learned.  No one wants to be bothered.  No one said anything.  No hello.  No hi.  Not even a smile.  Just kept on life like no one else existed but them.  Until........I started riding my motorcycle more to work on the back roads.  Everyone.....and I mean EVERYONE I would pass by while riding would make it a point to stop what they were doing outside, and wave.  They don't know me.  I don't know them.  They would wave.  And usually smile while waving.  I can't begin to tell you how a simple wave made me feel.  Especially if I had a shit day at work, and just wanted to go to bed and forget about the day.  That wave allowed me to forget about 15 minutes earlier.  That wave allowed me to get out of my head for a moment.  That wave was NICE!  And FRIENDLY! 

I've had this discussion with others, and the only thing in common with all of them, is they usually say something along the lines of, "well Tom, you don't know what's going on in their lives.  They may be living something terrible and aren't in the mood to be friendly."  I agree.  Which leads me to my next experience. 
One morning, I found out a good friend of mine was murdered.  Brutally.  I'm not even going to BEGIN to tell you how that made me feel.  Let's just say, not good.  I went to a very bad place internally.  I left work early, and on my way home, I stopped off at that same Sheetz for a cup of coffee.  Extremely sad, extremely depressed, and not wanting to have contact with ANYONE, I walked up to the counter with my coffee and money.  As I got to the counter, I looked at the older gentlemen working, smiled at him (forced, mind you) and said, "good morning".  He looked at me, paused a moment, said good morning back, told me how much the coffee was and I paid him.  As he was giving me the change, I looked at him and said, "I hope you have a GREAT day!".  He smiled at me and said, "you too........no matter what!"  I stopped in my tracks.  Looked back at him, and a wave of comfort covered me.  Smiling (sincerely), I repeated that back to him...."No Matter What".  Now, the next person in line didn't say good morning, or hello, or anything to him.  He didn't say anything to them except for how much they owed him.  So I KNOW he didn't say that to everyone.  Would he have said it to me if I didn't give the nice greeting?  I firmly believe he wouldn't have.  So DOES it matter what you're going through?  Yes.  And if you ARE in a bad spot in life, and aren't in the mood to be friendly, then, I believe, THAT'S when you SHOULD be!  You NEVER know how another human being (who's JUST LIKE YOU) can affect your life. 

A simple wave.
A simple hello.
A simple smile.

You NEVER know how it can affect their life.  And if you're still selfish, your life. 

I'm going to make a conscious effort from this day forth to wave, or say hello, or even just smile at people.  No matter the mood I'm in.  I'm going to work very hard on having no expectations of a response either!  Because I'll never know. 

I hope you have a GREAT day..........

NO MATTER WHAT!

Finny McGinners

If you read my last post, you now know I have a daughter as well.  And I want to tell the story of her name.  Afina.  The reason, to me, is a fascinating story.  And the name fits her perfectly!

It started out when we found out my wife was pregnant.  We started to brainstorm on names if the baby was a boy, or a girl.  And we just could NOT agree on ANY of them.  I had a bunch she hated, she had a bunch that I hated.  So we put the name on the back burner and just went about our lives.  After the first sonogram, my wife looked at the picture of the blob, and said, "oh.....look at the little blueberry."  It did look just like a blueberry.  So I said to her, if it's a girl, why don't we name her Blue?  I thought it was different, and interesting, and my wife agreed. 

She said we could even name it Blue if it were a boy.  I immediately vetoed that idea.  "Little Boy Blue, come blow....." no way!!!! 

Well, we find out it's a girl, and we are set on calling her "Blue".  And then Beyoncé and Jay Z had to go and have a child and name it Blue Ivy.  GRRRRRRR.  I will NOT have a daughter that people think we named after Beyoncé's kid.  So, back to the drawing board.

Here comes more brainstorming, more hating each other's ideas until one day my wife said....."How about we name her Fin?"  Hmmmmmm.  It's a possibility.  It wasn't 100% agreed on, but it wasn't hated by either of us.  I thought a little bit more about it, and realized Ice T's character on Law & Order is nicknamed Fin.  What is it with us and rappers all of a sudden?  But I still wasn't about to dismiss it.  UNTIL----

I was at work one day, and decided to type in to google, "baby girl names".  Holy shit did a LOT of pages pop up.  I clicked the first page and went straight to the "A's".  I just started eyeballing the names, not really thinking too too hard when I saw a "fin" in the middle of Afina.  I liked the name Afina, and liked that we can still call her Fin.  Well, let's see what the meaning of Afina is.  I clicked on the meaning and it hit me like a smash in the face.  "Blueberry".  I called my wife and told her that Afina will be our daughter's name, explained why, and we both LOVED it. 

That's pretty cool huh?  That's not the end of it.  When "Finny" came out, and they cleaned her up a bunch, I noticed what looked like a bruise on her arm.  I asked the Pediatrician if it was, in fact, a bruise.  He said, "it could be a bruise, it could be a birthmark.  We'll find out in about 2 weeks."  Well, it's a birthmark.....and it's in the shape of a blueberry.....and it's blue in color.....and it's permanent. 

So that's the story of my little Afina and how she got her name.  My little blueberry.  She DOES have a buttload of nicknames too....Finny McGinners, Finny McGinny, Peach (that's my wife's nickname for her), and more. 

She's in the terrible two's right now, and boy does she have a little attitude.  When she misbehaves (like smacks the shit out of her brother for no reason other than to smack him) we attempt to put her in a "time-out".  She volunteers to jump in the chair, and will sit there in her "time-out", just rocking and singing, and laughing.  Time out does not work for this little girl.  And when she doesn't get what she wants, she doesn't cry, she stares you down.  It's actually creepy sometimes the way her eyes penetrate you. 


All-in-all, she's daddy's little girl, and I love her to pieces.  My little Finny!

Can you guess what I'm grateful for today?  :)

Finny in Winter, year 0. 

Has It Really Been This Long

Holy cow.  I forgot I had this blog.  There is SOOOOOOOOOOO much that has happened in the past from the last time I wrote here.  LOTS. 

If you remember, I lost my job at Magic 93 due to restructuring.  Since then, I did get a new job with Bold Gold Media.  I'm a talk show producer......commercial producer....commercial writer....fill in DJ on 104.9 FM The River (Total Reach Radio, The River).....producer for a super secret online radio station that hasn't launched yet.....board op.......light bulb replacer.....whatever they ask of me here. 
It's interesting.  All the different talk shows I produce have educated me in so many ways, it's ridiculous.  I'm still not an expert in anything yet. 



Simon just turned 4 yesterday.  Yes......FOUR!!!!   He's an awesome little kid now.  No more toddler....KID.  He's my bud.  AND my son.  I try to make sure I am his Father first, THEN his friend.  He's funny too......when he doesn't get his way, he likes to say, "FINE, you're not my best friend anymore!".  To which I respond..."I don't care.  You're still doing...(fill in the blank)!" 



My wife and I also now have a daughter who will be turning 2 next month.  She is the OPPOSITE of her brother.  I can go on and on and on about the 2 of them, but I'll end up with carpal tunnel. 



Having 2 kids has prevented me from doing a lot of the things I used to....IE:  Fishing.  Just read a lot of my past posts.  You'll see.  LOL.  I didn't even get out ice fishing the past ice season.  And ya know what?  I'm OK with it. 




I do have a new hobby though.  Disc Golf.  I love it.  I'm not infatuated with it though like one friend.  It doesn't consume my entire life.....like one friend.  But I do enjoy playing.  What IS Disc Golf?  I'm glad you asked.  Simply put, it's a combination of hiking, BALL golf, and Frisbee all put into one.  The rules and ethics are the same as ball golf....but there is no ball or club.  Just discs.  And there isn't a hole.  It's a basket, with chains that hang down.  Get the disc in the basket in the least amount of throws.  And the courses are usually in the woods. 

I wrote an article for the Independent Gazette about disc golf.  Maybe I'll copy/paste it in another post (which I'd like to try and keep up on now). 

I sold my motorcycle.  Not because of the children.  But because I wanted a bigger one.  Which I did purchase.  I went from a Honda Rebel 250, to a Honda Shadow VLX Deluxe (600 CC).  I LOVE it.  I just wish the damn garage would get my freakin tires in already so I can ride.  It's been 2 weeks.  Why can't I seem to find a reasonably priced, efficient, motorcycle repair shop in Northeast PA that doesn't take FOREVER to get stuff done.  I'm missing out on MANY days of awesome riding (and a lot of $$ in gas). 



There's just so much to catch you up on.....I'm going to need to start with more posts to keep up.  So this is just the beginning.  I feel like just in the past couple years, I have a brand new life.  It's so crazy how things can change so quickly.  Friends come and go.  Jobs come and go.  Hobbies come and go.  But there's one thing I still DON'T want to come and go.....and that's gratitude.  I feel like I'm one of the luckiest sons-of-bitches in the world.  I don't have a lot of money.  I don't have a lot of luxuries.  But I've got an AWESOME life.  Great people in my life.....and much much more. 

I've learned the word "failure" is not negative.  I've learned what a real friend is.  I've learned a LOT.  And for that....I'm grateful.  Or as some of my friends spell it...."great-full". 

I'll wrap it today.  Hope to write some more soon. 


Have gratitude!  And God bless!!!!